I have been incredibly excited to share this week’s Powerful Beauty guest contributor. Kathleen Cross is the author of two Harper Collins novels, Skin Deep and Schooling Carmen. She has been a guest on numerous radio and television shows, including Oprah, Montel and Dr. Phil. In addition to being an acclaimed author, Kathleen has her own website KathleenCross.com. –Jami at Bionic-Beauty.com
There is incredible power in being loved unconditionally.
Love allows us to see ourselves as the beautiful creatures we are, and if we are open to the lesson, it will teach us what we are truly made of.
I learned that from my former fiancé Todd Barr, who knew that at forty-something I had plenty of internal and external flaws, and chose to focus instead on what he found beautiful in me:
In His Eyes
I am sweet marrow
wrapped in angel’s flesh
strength’s elucidation of grace
Stillness in motion
Heaven and earth alloyed
I am the only goddess
and he comes undone when I dance
I am alto now, soprano then
aria in rhythmic breaths
lyric in silence
soloist and symphony abreast
I am the matchless voice
and he lip syncs as I chant
I am sapphire
I speak watercolors
in my lover’s eyes
I penned those words after Todd informed me during an argument,
“Don’t tell me not to put you on a pedestal. It’s my pedestal. I put you up there, and there’s nothing you can do or say to remove yourself, so just shine.”
The trouble with that kind of admiration is what can happen to you and your self-esteem if the admiration is suddenly withdrawn.
Todd taught me that too when he drowned in the ocean trying to save a friend caught in a riptide.
I was beyond devastated by the loss of my best friend, and, lost in the dark fog of mourning I arrived at the irrational conclusion that the only way something so terrible could happen to me is that I deserved it.
I deserved it.
That one ugly thought burrowed itself deep, obliterating my self-esteem and leaving me unable to feel beautiful or worthy of love for many months to come. I retreated to a deep dark cave where I was sure my ugly self belonged, and I stayed there much too long.
A mohawked skater-dude in line with me at the bank has no idea he helped to nudge me out of my cave. Written on his t-shirt were the words, “Welcome to Earth, where ugly things happen to beautiful people.” I found a powerfully beautiful message in it for me.
We come to Earth beautiful. Beauty, like love, is our birthright. We don’t have to do anything to deserve it any more than we can do something to deserve those experiences we interpret as “ugly.” Earth is our pedestal and it is our birthright to shine here. Todd already knew what it took me a while to learn.
I am beautiful, because I am.